facebook "friends"

all of my facebook

"friends"

are people that i would actually be real

friends with in real life...

i've completely blocked one person...

i've hidden a few people from

showing up on my news feed

because i just don't care about what they 

constantly post about

but i still want to be able to keep up

with them, just on my own time...

i've de-friended,

(or is it un-friended???)

one person, only

to become friends with them

again at a later date...

just like in real life...

this morning on my way into work

i started thinking about all this talk

about gay marriage...

all the red hrc logos all over my 

facebook feed...

and i smiled because

MY facebook feed had stayed positive...

MY facebook feed was full of red

and support

and love...

sure, there's negativity out there...

but not on MY facebook feed...

it was on links and blogs and comments on

other pages...

but MY facebook feed was positive...

and that made my heart smile,

because i have awesome

friends and family...

but just a few moments ago

i saw where a "friend" posted something

negative about gay marriage...

hiding behind their bible...

stating that god said same sex marriage is wrong...

i de/un-friended them immediately...

if you don't think that i have the same rights

as you, if i'm a lesser citizen of this country

because of who i love, then i don't want to

be friends with you... 

on the interwebs or in real life...

so if you think that heather and i

shouldn't ever have the right to be married

STOP READING NOW!!!

go de/un-friend me on facebook

and let's go our separate ways...

we don't want your kind around here...

are they gone???

i just want deserve what everybody else wants deserves...

the same rights...

no less...

no more...

one day heather and i will get married...

i don't know when...

but it will happen...

and when it does

we will want deserve the same rights as my parents had...

i mean seriously???

how is this still an issue???

oh those silly gays

big stuff happening for the gay community...

win or lose

it's a big day...

i can't believe all the red all over facebook...

i can't believe all of the supportive posts

and pictures

and comments...

i am simply amazed...

not that my friends and family

are that supportive...

but that i'm lucky enough to call 

these people friends and family...

old friends and new friends...

aunts and uncles...

cousins and second cousins...

step sisters and step brothers in law...

dogs and cats...

friends that are family

and

family that are friends...

i would like to send out a 

very very very big,

from the bottom of my heart,

makes me smile from ear to ear,

thanks...

people have been kicked out of homes...

lost their entire families...

been beaten...

been killed...

over something so stupid as

who they love...

aren't there more important things to

worry about than

who i kiss goodnight???

i think about when i first came out

and the love and support

and the

"sha whatever...  like we didn't know???" response

i got from my parents 

and i just have to be so thankful for that...

so thankful that i never had to hide who i was 

around my family...

thankful that the

"kids" in my family

all grew up around me

and i never had to hide who i was 

or who i loved...

and i think they all turned out pretty ok...

and i see those same "kids"

changing their profile pictures

to the red hrc logo...

and i know

that's another generation growing up

to be just as awesome as their parents are...

and raising their kids to

be just as awesome as they are

and to be more concerned with

the more important things in life...

and that,

my friends,

warms my heart and makes me 

happier than you can ever imagine...

so to all those people in my life

that couldn't care less that

i'm a lesbian -

i thank you...

the shamrock shuffle

as stated in a previous blog,

new days,

i changed things up this year for

st pat's day...

i ran the shamrock shuffle,

which was my first

official race...

i have to admit that i was a little nervous...

for a few reasons...

i have never participated in a race like this before...

i wasn't sure how fast or slow i would run it...

i didn't want to let myself down...

i started the race at the back of the pack,

just in front of the

walkers and shufflers...

my adrenaline was pumping

and i had to make myself slow down...

i was just so excited that i got ahead of myself...

so i slowed down and found my own pace...

about halfway through the race i thought to myself

"what have i gotten myself into???"

but as the finish line came in to view

i was able to pick up my pace

and i finished as fast as my legs would go...

i finished right about the middle of the pack

and beat the time i had in my head...

by a lot...

my hk and lac were there at the finish line

to greet me with,

what else,

doughnuts...

mmmmm doughnuts

celebratory doughnut

because how else would we celebrate

reaching a goal of mine???

oh that's right...

beer...

celebratory beer

thanks to hk and lac
for being there at the finish line...
i've never been more proud of myself
than i was at that moment
and i'm glad you were there
to share with me...

and now it's on to my first 5k...
kiki and i will be running the
color in motion
on may 11th...
just in time for mother's day...

cottage cheese

i used to watch my mom eat cottage cheese..
i was thoroughly disgusted by it...
maybe it was because she put ketchup in it
and
it looked like a big pink globby mess...
but now,
now i love it...

that is all...

i had a dream

this is my dream from this morning...
it's kinda long
but stick with me...

standing in grandpa maher's kitchen
with the whole family around...
making drinks...
aunt steph tries nicole's
and likes it...
i try nicole's
and like it...
we decide that since
aunt steph and i both like it
we should probably make a run
to the liquor store...
half of us stay
the other half go to the store...
grandpa is rearranging furniture
and making the space in the kitchen for us
smaller and smaller and smaller
but thinks he's helping...
then we are magically outside...
it feels like the pegg's side yard
but it doesn't look like it...
now i have entered some sort
of hunger games kind of thing
with my family members...
i don't recognize any of them
but they feel like family...
i'm in an alliance of 4(including me)...
i aim my gun across the field...
it's an OLD gun...
reminds me of the guns the snipers
used in band of brothers...
when i look through the scope
i'm not in a field any more
it's new york city
and the guy i'm trying to shoot
is across the street
but i would have to shoot him through
the taxi's window
and the guy keeps dancing in the back
and i can't get a good shot...
i remember thinking
i can't believe they let us loose in
new york city with guns
just for fun...
when i lower the gun
i'm back in the field
and someone else shoots the guy
i was trying to shoot...
then two of the guys with me get shot...
so it's just me
and one other guy left...
we take off for the house...
we end up on the very top floor of the house...
which is a floor that doesn't exist in real life
(but i feel like i've had dreams about it before)
and we are super relaxed
and talking about ordering a pizza
when i hear the dogs start barking...
so i run to the back door
and try to lock it but
two guys who are trying to kill us get in...
they shoot the guy i'm with
and i drop down to the floor
and i'm sitting indian style in the corner...
next to a mop bucket
a mop
a broom
and some old shoes
and these guys are standing behind me
with a gun to my head...
all i can think about is
when they shoot me
how am i going to fall...
i don't want to fall into all this stuff
and have it go everywhere...
they fire the gun once...
nothing happens...
they rub alcohol on a part of my head
and put the gun to it again...
fire again...
nothing happens...
they rub alcohol on another part of my head
and put the gun to it again...
fire again...
nothing happens...
loud noises at the front door
and they leave me to go investigate...
i escape out the back door...
down a series
of wooden logs that are stacked up
and leaned up against the side of the house...
make my way to the front porch...
run like hell down
the driveway and to the left
heading for the woods...
as i come up over a hill
i see a whole group of my cousins
(still don't know who they are)
coming towards me...
i turn back and all of a sudden
i'm back at the front porch
and there's a huge bonfire...
my uncle tim
(i don't have an uncle tim, but that's what i called him)
throws buckets of water on the fire
creating steam and hissing sounds
and he declares the games are over...
uncle tim and i start arguing
about the morality of these games...
he grabs a shovel...
i grab a rake...
and we start sword fighting with them...
then he turns into his wife...
don't know her name
but still - not really anybody i know...
so her and i start sword fighting...
then the handles break
and i start punching her in the face...
and then she turns into neve campbell...
that's right -
neve campbell...
the oldest sister from party of five
at least that's how i know her...
then i woke up...

ummm
yeah
so
that was my dream this morning and the start to my day...

here's hoping you had sweet dreams about
butterflies
unicorns
and rainbows...

wordless wednesday

new days

dad and i did a lot of stuff together...

we went to the  

uk women's basketball games 

and that led

to going to the pub before those games

and that led to all day at the pub

for st patty's day...

after he died

i wasn't sure if i would be able to

do either of them without him...

walking into memorial coliseum for the first game 

without him

was terrible...

it felt like someone punched me in the gut...

but i had my friends surrounding me...

walking into the pub st patty's morning

without him

was terrible...

it felt like someone punched me in the gut...

but i had my friends and new family surrounding me...

and i made it through both days...

but i learned something very important on 

those days...

uk women's basketball games

and 

st patty's day at the pub

have nothing to do with 

uk women's basketball games

and

st patty's day at the pub...

the only thing that mattered on those

days was the time i spent with my dad...

surrounded by hundreds

sometimes even thousands of people

dad and i found the time to bond

just him and i...

but now

it's just not the same...

so i don't go to the

uk women's basketball games...

and i won't be doing the all day

st patty's day celebration at the pub...

i just registered to run a 3K

on saturday the 16th...

and i'll be at the pub that evening

and probably late into the night...

but i won't be there all day...

and i won't be there on the 17th...

but rest assured that dad

will be watching over all the festivities...