Wednesday, May 16, 2012

smoking's stupid...


today i finished
week 1
day 2
of couch to 5k
i thought it would be hard on my knees
or my back
or my ankles
but nope
it was my lungs
my lungs are revolting
i quit smoking january 1st
but after smoking for more than half of my life
god that's a long time
thought i was going to throw up at one point
but i made it
i finished
i had to slow down towards the end
but i still did it
but the whole time i thought
sure wish i would have listened to my parents
who smoked
so when you are 16 and the people who are lecturing you
are smoking
well - it doesn't quite mean as much
sure wish i would have listened to my coaches
but who could take big bill matros seriously
when he smelled like cough drops
and spit when he talked
sure wish i realized that
i sure as hell didn't know everything at that age
but luckily i quit
hopefully my body will recover
hopefully my lungs will forgive me


here are my parents
in high school
a long long long time ago
their love
well
it was awesome
on august 3rd
it will be 10 years since my mom died

on august 5th
it will be one year since my dad died


both from cancer
both related to smoking
smoking is stupid

so here i am
that person
nobody will probably listen to me
i probably won't change anybody's minds
or habits
but i'm still here
and i'm still saying it
don't smoke
if you smoke
quit
now

for now
i'm just hoping my lungs will forgive me
and let me breath again
and realize that
i'm sorry for everything i put them through
but we'll get through this
me
and
my
lungs
together...

1 comment:

  1. Awwww Jess! Hugs! And kudos for quitting! You can do this!

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