warrior dash

so i did the warrior dash on saturday...

driving in

super jess

pre dash warriors

pre mud pit of death

mud bath with the dusings

mud pit

under the barbed wire

oh my god i'm gonna die

super jess down

would not have made it without matt, brad and amy

kiki was a beast

the dusings

cargo net bruise saturday

cargo net bruise monday

i knew going in

that i wasn't going to be able to complete

all of the obstacles...

but i told myself that i would make

that decision when i got to them...

i didn't want to talk myself out of anything

before i even saw it...

i didn't do the great warrior wall

or

the giant cliffhanger...

which were wall climbs with ropes...

i know i don't have the upper body 

for that...

i watched amy do the giant cliffhanger,

which is a slanted wall climb

with a rope

and slats for your feet that were 

probably about 5 feet apart...

up one side

and

down the other...

muddy...

she was a beast 

and i was so proud of her...

i also didn't do the mud mounds...

it was the fourth obstacle...

i knew that climbing over those

mounds of mud

and carrying all that mud 

on me and my clothes

for the rest of the dash

would wear me down too quickly...

i made it only halfway across

the sideways cargo net...

i caught my arm right before

i fell and 

that's where the lovely

bruise above came from...

i was feeling a little down

about myself at that point...

feeling like i wasn't doing

everything as well as i thought

i could...

or should...

but brad came back to get me saying,

halfway's better than not at all...

and with a little fist bump

we were back on the trail...

couple more obstacles...

and then here comes

the end... 

muddy mayhem...

or

as i like to refer to it

the mud pit of death...

jumping in was kind of fun...

a big mud bath...

crawling hands and knees

through soupy nasty muddiness...

the farther i got

the thicker the mud got...

almost a peanut butter consistency...

and i understood how people die in quicksand...

this was the part where i was

physically exhausted...

but i didn't give up...

i couldn't give up...

this part,

this mud,

this was the hardest part of the

whole thing...

but i dug deep

and with a little help from the dusings

and hearing my hk cheering for me,

i made it up and out...

i crossed the finish line...

got my medal...

and collapsed...

it was absolutely

the hardest 

most physically 

challenging thing

i have ever done in my life...

and as i was complaining to 

my friend tyler about it

he said to me,

"that's why you did it"...

and he was right...

i challenged myself...

and even though i didn't do as

well as i wanted to do,

i did it...

it was definitely an experience

i'll never forget and i'm

glad i did it...

but i'm not sure if i'll do it again...

stay tuned for the story of

having to strip down in the parking lot

and

hosing off naked in the backyard...

listen

i was supposed to go to the gym this morning...

i didn't make it

and here's why,

in my own

roundabout way...

most mornings

when that alarm goes off

my body is up and ready to go...

but my mind???

well that's another story...

my mind tells me

to pull the covers over my head...

to cuddle up to hk...

just go back to sleep...

but eventually my body wins...

my body talks my mind

into dragging my sorry ass

out of bed

and into the gym...

and my mind is thankful

for it... 

eventually...

but this morning

my body revolted...

my mind was ready...

but my body was not...

i was sore...

i was stiff...

i did some strength training monday...

i ran 36 minutes straight tuesday...

i did a 50 minute spin class wednesday...

i did even more intense strength training thursday...

my body said

"aw hell no"

and if I have learned anything

during this evolution,

it's that you 

MUST

listen to your body...

so i got an extra

hour and a half of sleep...

and my body is thankful

that i listened to my mind...

they sometimes disagree,

my mind and body...

but when push comes to shove,

they know what's right...

i just need to listen to the right one...

accomplishment

today

i stood flat footed

knees locked

bent at the waist

and

touched my toes...

may not seem like much,

but to me,

it was pretty darn awesome...

inspiration

even though she didn't have to work

hk got up at 4:45 and went to the

gym with me on monday morning...

even though she didn't have to work

hk got up at 5:20 and went to the 

gym with me on tuesday morning...

and this morning...

well,

here's what happened...

i was going to get up at 4:45 

and go to the gym for a spin class...

hk was going to go to the gym

at some point today...

in the middle of the night

it came a gally gap slinger...

not really sure where this

term came from, but

i heard someone say it once

about a really bad storm...

lightning

thunder

wind

it was a big one...

and let's just say

thunder shirts were

no match for this storm...

pete and maddie were 

not happy campers...

so there was not a lot of

sleep happening...

when my alarm went off

at 4:45

i said,

"awww hell no"

and reset it for 6:00...

telling myself i'll go to the

5:30 spin class tonight...

alarm goes off at 6...

i wake heather up and tell

her i'm not going to the gym

and that it's 6 and not 4:45...

shower and all that jazz...

while i'm getting dressed in 

the other room

and packing my gym back

for tonight's class,

i'm thinking to myself

what if i just accidentally 

forget my gym shoes and

then i can't go to the gym tonight???

no shoes???

no gym...

i'm trying to talk myself 

out of the gym...

i want to come home...

i want to sit on the couch...

i want to rest...

that's when i hear hk get up...

she's getting herself ready to

go to the gym...

on her day off...

again...

well if

heather anne kimberling

is getting up at the 

butt crack of dawn

to go to the gym by herself

i'm triple checking my

gym bag to make sure

i've got everything i need

because i'm hitting that spin class

and i'm hitting it hard...

so

thanks hk...

i won't get mushy here,

even though you know i want to...

i'll just leave it at that...

super jess

i started this whole thing,
this journey of a better me,
right about the time
this fuzzy headed goofball
came back into my life:

i’ve started

and stopped...

and started again

and gone backwards

more times than i can count…

i've been motivated

and positive...

and lazy 

and negative...

but the one thing i have not done,

and will never do,

is give up...

a couple of months ago,

a facebook friend posted this:

and i wrote it out

on a piece of paper

and it's taped up in my bathroom...

a constant reminder that

life is evolution...

i'm not who i want to be

but i'm sure not who i was...

i haven't smoked a cigarette in

565 days...

i don't drink 5-7 days a week

like i used to...

i don't eat fast food...

if at all possible i eat organic...

this past sunday was the last day

i ate meat...

this morning i did this:

the warrior dash is just

around the corner...

here's my shirt

hk found this awesome blog

that has inspired me...

if she can do this:

then maybe,

just maybe

i can get back to this:

awesome

amazing

wonderful

life changing

things are happening right now...

not to me

but because of me...

man

life is good!!!

reminders

every once in a while

i get a reminder

from the universe

that i am exactly where i am supposed to be...

that i am on the right path...

and that it hasn't forgotten about me...

today

i got one...

while driving home,

down that long stretch of 27

i noticed how beautiful it was...

green grass...

blue sky...

white clouds...

the clouds...

see them all the time...

but for some reason today

i started really

looking...

looking for things...

for shapes...

for faces...

so i grabbed my phone

and just started snapping pictures...

not really able to see

what i was photographing...

and then i start daydreaming...

about all kinds of things...

and before i know it 

i'm home...

gotta feed the dogs...

start laundry...

take a shower...

clean the kitchen...

feed myself...

and as i sit at the kitchen table,

i grab my phone,

and go to my TED app...

(thanks lac...)

and here's the new ted talk for today

cloudy with a chance of joy...

watch it...

do it...

and that's when i remember

the pictures i took...

(i do this a lot,

take pictures while driving

to or from work

or home)

so let's take a look

and see what we got...

the rest were either
of my fingers
or pure sunlight...

i love daydreaming...

bath beads

our house in texas had
the biggest bathroom i had seen...
we moved in when i was 10...
it had two sinks...
TWO SINKS!!!
i mean
two sinks - we had to be rich...
big garden tub...
stand up shower with a glass door...
it was fabulous...
i'm sure that it's really a lot smaller
than my memories,
but in my head it will always be
bigger than life...
a place that my dad would tend
to my skinned knees...
where i would take bath in that
big garden tub
with as many bubbles as it would hold...

remember bath beads???
little beads filled with a luxurious oil...
throw them in your hot bath water
and
relax...
she had them in all different
colors and scents...
in glass jars
setting around the tub...
for all different reasons...
she loved her bath...
she loved her bath beads...

i had lost her...
lost her voice...
lost her touch...
all i had left were pictures...
and stories...

but last night
i found her again...
rather,
she found me...
while in a full team meeting at work...
a new bottle of something or other for the hair ...
passed around from person to person...
a small pump on the back of my hand...
rubbed in...
the scent making it's way to my nose...
then there she was...
i was 10 again...
standing in the hallway of our
house in texas...
my mom was walking past me
right after having a bath...
i could smell her
and
she was beside me once again...